Everything Changes
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Gwen, Owen and Suzie's thoughts and feelings during "Everything Changes"
1. Gwen Cooper

**Title: Reflections Series: Everything Changes**

**Summary: This is the first of a thirteen part series that will focus on various character's thoughts and feelings during each episode of series one. In this part we hear what Gwen, Owen and Suzie think about "Everything Changes".**

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this. I've been thinking about this one for a long time and now I have it down on paper. For this episode, their reflections take place at the end of the episode. In future instalments there will be reflections happening during an episode. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Torchwood_. **

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**Episode One: Everything Changes**

**Point Of View: Gwen Cooper**

On my knees outside Cardiff Millennium Centre at night I can suddenly see everything clearly. I remember everything. Bloody Torchwood. I was so annoyed when they'd invaded the crime scene in the alleyway. It was a freezing cold night and the rain was pouring down in a relentless torrent. The forensic experts had cleared the site telling us special access for Torchwood had been granted. They turned my life right on its head. It had started with me seeing them bring a dead man back to life.

They did it as though it was something they'd done every day. It was horrible to watch. I could just make out their voices and the man – John Tucker his name was – was panicking because they told him he was dead! Jack knew I'd seen everything because he asked me what I thought the best thing to do was. I turned and ran away.

When I got home it felt strange to be at home talking to my boyfriend Rhys about normal things like his friends and tea. I felt oddly detached from myself as I lay in bed and contemplated what I'd seen. Had they really brought a man back from the dead? Surely that couldn't be possible!

I'd searched and searched for Captain Jack Harkness the next day. Apparently he didn't exist – the last recorded Captain Jack Harkness had disappeared in 1941. I knew he existed though! I met his little team: Doctor Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Susie Costello and Ianto Jones.

I wasn't allowed to remember Torchwood though. I'd been given an amnesia pill and had my memory wiped. I'd forgotten everything about Jack Harkness until I was faced with his second-in-command Suzie Costello again. Everything had seemed so illogical as she'd aimed that gun in my face and told me everything. She told me about how Torchwood got inside you and how it invaded your every thought. She told me how it took over every aspect of your life. Of course, I didn't understand any of it at the time. I didn't even know who she was.

She admitted to being the murderer of all those people because she wanted to figure out how to control the Glove. I found the Glove frightening – as did Suzie now I think. She wanted to bring back the dead and that just shouldn't happen. Yes of course I'd like to have all the loved ones I've lost back but it's just not right. It goes against everything the world has ever known.

I'd seen Jack shot through the head. I'd seen him murdered and I couldn't even remember who he was then. Suzie had turned the gun on me and it felt like my world was crashing down. I was so sure I was going to die. She said she was sorry but told me over and over she had to do it.

I was standing facing with my death. I knew I was. The woman was holding the gun in my face and I was scared. It was then that Jack appeared behind me again. Suzie's face registered horror and confusion as I trembled. The bullet hole in Jack's forehead healed up as though it had never even been there. He told her to drop the gun but she didn't. She tilted it upwards and blasted a bullet through her own brain. She collapsed to the ground in front of me and didn't move. I trembled and doubled over into myself.

My knees collided with the ground and I was feeling sick and dizzy – but I remembered everything now. I knew exactly who these people were. Now I knew I couldn't walk away. Torchwood had changed everything and I was never going to be free of it.


	2. Owen Harper

**Point Of View: Owen**

Suzie's dead. Shit! It came as a bit of a shock to all of us. I hadn't really noticed any difference in her behaviour recently but obviously there had been something changed inside her. She'd been the one that had killed all three of those people. She'd done it so she had a victim to bring back to life.

She'd done what none of should do – she let the job consume her. We'd all let Torchwood into our lives and once you've done that there's no going back but Suzie became obsessed with the Glove. It became more than just an interest. It was like she was addicted to it. I can see the appeal of bringing back the dead but at the same time it was revolting. It was just wrong and against nature. I suppose, when you've seen the things we see in Torchwood, nature is just a word with no meaning.

I felt kind of weird when I was told Suzie had shot herself. She was a colleague! I worked with her nearly every day of the week. Sure, she kept herself to herself a lot but that didn't mean we didn't care about her. It didn't mean that she didn't care about us. I even slept with her! It wasn't a serious relationship but still. She'd shared a bed with me and now she was dead. There was an empty place in Torchwood now.

Jack tightened security once he found that Suzie had taken the glove home. He made us all hand in any alien objects we had possession of. I was kinda annoyed about that but I can't say he was wrong. He'd just had one of his employees kill themselves over an alien artefact. Although, I don't really think I'm about to shoot my brains out because of an alien spray to make people jump into bed with you. That was just a bit of fun.

Well, lets see how PC Gwen Cooper copes with the Torchwood lifestyle. It'll be interesting to see that I guess. Oh, and she's quite hot – which is always a good thing. So, one life leaves Torchwood and another one comes in. That's just how things are around here.


	3. Suzie Costello

**Author's Note: This is the final chapter of this story. The next episode will be uploaded as another story. Thanks for my one review! Made me happy.**

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Point Of View: Suzie Costello

It all got too much after a while. Everything to do with Torchwood became too overwhelming and it was too hard to deal with. I couldn't carry on anymore. The Glove had turned me into a killer. I'd murdered people just so I could carry on with my research. I'd have never have dreamed of that when I was younger or before I joined this damned Torchwood.

I'd loved the job to start with. I really did. But then the glove got to the point of obsession and I knew there was no turning back. It was like a sort of connection between the Glove and I and it meant I couldn't think beyond it. I had to keep killing and killing until I figured out the secret.

I'd wanted to run away. I'd wanted to escape Torchwood. I'd found Gwen Cooper outside the Millennium Centre and I'd threatened to kill her. I was disorganised and she'd have had time to run away but of course she didn't run. She didn't even remember who I was. Then Jack had appeared.

That's why I'm standing here now with a gun aimed at Gwen's head. She's pleading with me. She doesn't know who I am or what I have against her but she's scared anyway. I try to apologise to her for what I'm about to her but she can't see my side of things.

Just then, Jack is standing behind her. There's a bullet hole in his head but even as I watch it disappears as though it was never even there! He tells me to put the gun down but how can I? He'd just lock me up. He'd give me recton and I wouldn't be able to remember anything about Torchwood. Maybe it'd be better that way? No, it couldn't be. How could I forget something that played such a big part in my life? I raise the gun skywards and pull the trigger. It goes off with a bang that shakes everything and then my life is over. Everything has stopped.

But I'll be back. They don't know that yet, but they will do eventually. Like I said, Torchwood never completely lets you go.

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